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wellpartners
partners of those who suffer from a psychiatric disorder
Recent Entries 
31st-Oct-2010 02:11 pm - Intros Please?
Hi. I'm new here. Since most of the posts date back to before spring of '09, could the people who are currently reading this community please post intros? here's my intro from a couple of months ago. Short version: I live with my boyfriend, who has depression and anxiety. I have the same problems, but I'm effectively medicated. He hasn't found any meds that work, so his functionality varies. But I adore him, so I'm looking for support.
2nd-Sep-2010 04:53 pm - Hello there,
I see an introduction is required. I am involved with a man who has been diagnosed with "Paranoid Personality Disorder", alongside a few other things. It is incredibly stressful, I know little to nothing of the process, diagnosis, whichever, and I have unfortunately been left to deal with it without much preparation. Well, I have finally taken the steps to try and 'educate' myself, hence joining this community.
My partner - John - is on several types of medication, I am not really sure what they are. I have only been with him for four months. Therapy is apparently 'not an option', I have largely left himself to himself to work out how to best handle things - or at least, that was my intent, until recently. Our planned engagement faltered when I realised I had no capabilities of coping with his distinct lapses in self-esteem, etc. It is very unstable at the moment. We are trying to work out how to bring him down from a 'paranoia attack' (I suppose you would call it) more naturally but my attempts so far have been largely unsuccessful.
Hopefully, things will begin to look better.

A book which I am reading right now is called "The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring" by Hugh Marriott, a gift from a friend; though it is mostly geared towards physical disability, it has been quite helpful with handling personal guilt, etc, and fairly stopped me from just walking away. I haven't had the chance to read it all yet, but I would recommend it.
30th-Aug-2010 10:04 am
Hi. I just joined this community. It seems kind of dead, unfortunately. Maybe a new member will perk it up? I'm 39 (today, actually), and I live with my boyfriend Andrew (as well as 2 housemates and my daughter). I've been with A. for four years. He has depression and anxiety. I have my own history with these issues, but I respond very well to effexor, so I'm pretty functional. So far, A. hasn't found any medication that helps, but he's in therapy, and working on himself. He doesn't have much paying work, and has problems with self-care. I love him a ton, and often I feel at a loss regarding his emotional problems, so I'm hoping to have some folks to talk to who understand.
2nd-Jan-2009 11:59 am - Introduction
I joined this community months ago but I havent plucked up courage to post yet, and have been lurking a little to see what the site was like. Anyway, this is my situation:

30s English female, living in Spain currently, my boyfriend (35) is clinically depressed, has been (officially) for 3 years but has always been not totally stable. Takes an SNRI medication (effexor), has lots of side effects (headaches, dizziness), sees a kind of counsellor here every few weeks, not anticipating stopping the meds any time soon, which worries me because I want a longterm future with him but it is a lot to deal with.  He hasnt made any serious suicide attempts but it is something he talks about and I know it may well happen.
 
Have had lots of support from other forums but they are mostly inhabited by the sufferers, rather than the people who put up with it all at home. I could really do with friendly ears who know some of what I'm going through.
 
BTW I am a very private person and really shy so I wont be one of those members that posts every day about every intimate detail of my life, because I just cant do that. I dont have a problem with people that can do that, I admire their openess. I will share factual stuff but I am not so good with pouring out my emotions.

Oh and Happy New Year to you all!
28th-Dec-2008 08:58 pm
sup
hi, everyone.

how have your holidays been treating you? ups? downs? bad reactions to stress? good reactions to time off or family?

this can be a tumultuous time of year, and it would be great to hear what everyone else has been up to.
26th-Apr-2008 01:48 pm - Introduction
Hi. My name is Kat. I'm a 42 year old woman who lives with a man who has Dissociative Identity Disorder (7 personalities that he knows of), PTSD, depression, anxiety. We met on a website for mentally ill people. I've been in and out of treatment for 34 years and have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, major depression, anxiety. I have my moments, but I take my meds and am in therapy Randy takes meds too, but hasn't been in therapy for years. I thought this relationship with Randy would be good for us, as we're both mentally ill, and so would understand each other. I couldn't have been more wrong. I foolishly let him move in with me last November and it's been a living Hell ever since.
22nd-Feb-2008 05:37 pm - State of the union
red X
Hey everyone. It's been a while since I posted much of anything, so I thought I'd throw out a little update.
Things have actually been going really well. V's been on a couple med changes over the last...year or so? Not sure exactly. She's more or less got it hammered out at the moment. I'm not sure on dosages but I know she's on Wellbutrin and Lamictal, and that they lowered the lamictal because it was making her foggy and she wanted to think again. Seems like she's found a good balance where she's able to think more clearly, but without the thoughts running wild and bringing her down. She's working on trying to adapt her journals into a narrative of sorts for a potential memoir in the future, which I think is really cool (and I may have had some part in helping inspire, or at least get the motivation up for). We moved into an apartment together last May, which has been really good. Of course, there's always ups and downs, but that's to be expected. So yeah, a bit of good news to perhaps brighten up your days :)
11th-Oct-2007 02:48 pm - need help with dear friend
happy puppy!
Hi,

I've been in the community a while lurking, and I think I posted an intro message but can't remember so I'll recap that briefly.

I'm 36, from Pittsburgh but visiting my best friend in San Francisco, female, unemployed. In this case my "partner" is my best friend, who I've known since I was 14; I'll call him G. He's going to be 38 around Thanksgiving. I've known him 22 years and although there have been times when we've gone months without speaking, there have been times more recently where we talk every day. He's single. I am staying at his apartment for a three week visit. He is suffering from severe depression and anxiety; a book I brought with me identifies symptoms of a major depressive episode and says if a person meets 5 or more they're having a major depressive episode, and he meets more than 5.

why I need helpCollapse )

Thanks all for your time and advice.
22nd-Sep-2007 12:33 pm - Good article
Beating the marriage odds: This article is about living with a bipolar partner, but could be good reading for others too.
9th-Sep-2007 06:16 pm - Another source
I hope it's okay to post this here. I see a lot of people who really want support and sometimes don't get many responses here, because there aren't many of us in this community and we don't always know what to say about a specific situation. There are some other message boards at http://p078.ezboard.com/bdepressionfalloutmessageboard that get a lot more traffic and you will always get replies if you post there too. I still think this community is valuable, not saying anything against it, just wanted to post another resource that is available.
14th-Jun-2007 04:57 pm - My intro
Hi everyone, I just joined this community and read the most recent posts. Like some others of you, I met my boyfriend online. We've only met in person once. We spent 2½ weeks together in February, and right afterwards he was hit with a depressive episode which he is still in. (He has suffered from depression his whole life.)

He is very withdrawn right now and it's particularly hard in an LDR since it means we have no contact. He isn't reading my email or answering the phone. I even sent letters in the mail but he didn't open them. (I found this out because he did pick up the phone and talk to me once, but most of the time he doesn't answer.) So I am having a very hard time, missing him and worried about him, and unsure where to go from here.

We are in a poly relationship. I live with my husband who I've been married to for 20 years. I also have a daughter who has bipolar disorder. She's 18 and has moved away to another state. I didn't join this community to talk about her, so I'll stop there, but I may use my experiences with her to answer other posts occasionally. And I have 3 cats, who are not depressed as far as I know.

I also want to let you guys know about another support forum I found, Depression Fallout, which includes message boards and a very popular chat room. I spend a lot of time there.

Nice to meet you all.
brain
Inactivity

untied was right: it's been quiet in here lately. Even in spite of her brave effort to liven things up a little. (Thank you!) I'm going to take all the blame for that. I haven't invested as much time in this community in the past months as I should have. I won't list my excuses, because they're really not any good, and even less interesting. I would still very much like this community to work the way it was intended to - a place to vent, share, support. We were certainly off to a good start, and I think we have a great group of people here who have been excellent about commenting on the entries that were made so far.

Here's my idea (and you are, of course, free to dismiss it or do whatever you want). I'd really love for every one of our members to post an entry sometime in the next four to six weeks about anything to do with this community's themes. If nothing comes to mind, maybe the community's interests can be of help (to name just a few: humor, stigmatization, responsibility, drug side effects, sex, therapy). And hey, if you really can't, if life has been getting in the way of things, I'm the last person to hold it against you, so don't feel bad. Post whenever you've got the time.

Membership

If you aren't a member of wellpartners, but you would like to be, please read the community guidelines. Over the past three months fourteen people have applied for membership by following the 'join this community' link. Nine of these people had friends-only journals. Only three of them sent me an e-mail with a short introduction. These are the only people whose membership I approved. If I don't know who you are, I can't let you in. Trolling has been a problem in this community. Privacy is valued here. So please, if you want to become a member of wellpartners, introduce yourself in an e-mail to the moderator, let us know you're in the right place, and I promise that if you are, you'll be added as a member within three days.

Suggestions

Basically, this place is a free-for-all; you're free to post whenever, whatever, and however, just as long as you play along with the community guidelines. I'd really like to hear any suggestions though concerning where you'd like this place to go. If you expect something in particular from me as your moderator, please let me know. Any ideas about keeping this place alive and involved are very, very welcome. And remember, if you know anyone who you think might benefit from this community, invite them over sometime - they may decide to stick around.

I'd love to hear from you!
15th-Feb-2007 10:59 pm
greta
how is everyone doing? the community has been quiet for a while...

maybe you can spare a moment to share something trying and something good that's happened in the last two months? it would be nice to hear how everyone is holding up.
26th-Oct-2006 02:15 am
red X
Hi everybody. I hate to bring bad news, but i really wanted some feedback from some people who might know. under the cutCollapse )
29th-Sep-2006 11:33 am - So long and thanks for all the fish
I'm leaving this community as well as crazy_on_meds. I feel I have already done more harm than good here, and that joining was a mistake. I do hope that you and your loved one can acheive a long-lasting relationship that is mutually beneficial.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Mike.
22nd-Sep-2006 04:24 pm - Introduction
Music Is My Boyfriend
Hi guys, my name is Allison and my soon-to-be-exhusband is bipolar.  We have a five-year-old daughter, so even though we're splitting, he'll always be a part of my life because of our little one.  I live in Kentucky and I work in survey research (not market research), mostly with public policy type stuff.

About my situation....Collapse )
12th-Sep-2006 06:22 am - Introduction
Hawaii
Tell us a little bit about yourself (how old you are, which part of the world you are from, if you're male or female, what you do for a living...)

Hi there. My name is Kathy and I found this community a couple of weeks ago. I have started this introduction about three times now, but for some reason have not been able to finish it either from getting interrupted to just not being sure what to write. I am 40 years old and live in Southern California. I am currently a manicurist working in a salon where there are only two of us, and that is definitely my therapy since I have contact with adults in the outside world! I am the proud mom of a 5-year-old little girl and my husband and I have been together since 1995 and were married in 1999.

My husband is suffering from what I believe is drug-induced psychosis. He has been taking dozens of medications over the years for diabetes and diabetic neuropathy. He has been through many surgeries as well. Currently, he is taking Neurontin, Oxycontin, Lyrica and Provigil. He is seeing many different doctors ranging from his endocrinologist to a psychiatrist.

My husband began a few months back starting to hear "voices." He has a few different voices that talk to him. He also began what I call sleep eating as well as sleep walking. He would gorge himself with food to where it would be all over his face and mouth, like he had been shoving it in. One night, I woke up to the house being filled with every light possible on. As I went through turning off lights, I found a huge stock pot I store in the garage was now on the floor in front of our daughter's room. In the kitchen, almost the entire contents of the refrigerator were out on the counters, and cereal bowls had been placed over each of the four burners on the stove. Luckily, the stove had not been turned on. My husband had no recollection of doing this and had no clue what he must have been thinking. During the day, my husband goes through periods where he can be talking normally, and then his speech will begin to become a bit slurred, his eyes will roll into his head and he will start talking about almost nonsensical things -- like he is in some hallucinagenic state. He has brought all of this to the attention of the psychiatrist who just yesterday says to not worry and he'll see him in 3 months.

As for obstacles, I don't even know where to begin. All I can say is that it makes it very difficult trying to continue to have a "normal" household for my daughter and to try to ease her frustrations of dealing with her dad when he is like this. I just tell her that dad is tired and let's go in the other room and do something together.

There is so much more I could offer; however, I think it will just take me time to share everything in posts rather than to try to type it all out here.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I look forward to getting to know others here soon!
11th-Sep-2006 09:21 pm - Intro...
margot genius - smercy
I've been a member of the community for awhile and haven't introduced myself so it's time.
I'm Carson, I'm the moderator for crazy_on_meds.
I suffer from manic depression and borderline personality disorder, but seeing as I have my own community to vent there about, I'd like to be here more for members who maybe need help dealing with a loved one's illness.
I've been involved with people with mental illnesses before (making me know things both from the sick partner and the well partner's point of view), and mental illness (depression, OCD, manic depression, and schizophrenia) all run in my family.
Anyways, nice to meet everyone - and I hope that if I can help anyone understand or deal with their partner who is sick, I will do it wisely.
Having a mental illness AND having been with people with mental illnesses - it sort of makes me compassionate to both sides.
It's really hard on everyone, and I will say this:
Anyone (especially someone who is not mentally ill) who meets, falls in love with, and stays with someone with an illness is to be commended. There are so many bad stereotypes of the "crazy" people - too many people are scared away by labels of mental illness. If both partners are mentally ill this can be a bad thing in that the cyclical nature of mental illnesses can throw both partners out of whack - but at least they both sort of know what's wrong with the other.
When one partner is well and the other is ill, it's an entirely different matter. It IS hard to understand, and it DOES scare people off, so anyone who can see past the stereotypes and be with someone with an illness and treat them like a normal person and not "crazy" has done a lot more than the general population, methinks.
4th-Sep-2006 04:53 am
red X
Ok, so I'm posting much sooner than i thought i would.I feel like I just need to get some stuff out and get some feedback. About a month ago, my girlfriend Vicki and I had a fight of sorts related to some sexual stuff. She felt inadequate for some reason that I couldn't fathom and one night when I was hanging out with my friends it all came out over text messages and led to this fight that lasted a couple days. Then tonight I was hanging out with the same friends and it all came back. it started because I had made a comment that i had talked to them both about the problems we had had as well as the fight itself that night, which prompted her to say that it was none of their goddamn business, ever. I'm a very open person and like to get things out for discussion and get feedback on them (like now) but she tends to shove it to the side and just get angry instead, a response whihc i have trouble dealing with, but usually just try to let slide, often at the expense of my own happiness to try to help her feel better. Tonight she brought up the comment that i had made, and after saying that it wasn't their business and going back and forth for a bit, said that it wasn't worth it and that I shouldn't worry about it cause it was easier to just forget us entirely. I talked her down from that, though she was still in a horrible mood last i heard. All I could do was keep saying how much I cared about her and that I had no intention to leave her or anything of that sort, and that giving up now would be denying any sort of chance at happiness etc. She eventually said that she felt stupid, which is more or less the equivalent of her saying she knows she's over-reacting, but doesnt know what to do about it. I just care about her so much and it's so hard to go through these situations. Imean, I can be mad, but that doesn't change that i love her and doesn't make me think that breaking it off would solve anything. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone had gone through similar situations, how they dealt with it, if they thought I did ok with it, and any helpful info on how to diffuse a situation like this in the future. I'll keep everyone updated on us too, but yeah, that was my fun filled night.
1st-Sep-2006 04:57 am - Hello
red X
Hi! My name is Eric. My girlfriend, whom I love very much, is bipolar type 2. She pointed me here last night and I thought it would be a good idea to join. Seems like a good place to get some insight and whatnot, and talk to some other people who know what's going on better than I do. That wording sounds really odd, but yeah. Anyway, Ill be around, and probably post a question or two here and there, so I thought I'd say hi and possibly make a friend or two in the comm. See you around :).
headache
Membership to wellpartners is now moderated. If you wish to join the community, read the rules to make sure you belong here, and then send the moderator an email with a brief descripton of your situation. Make sure to include your username in the subject line. Members who do not email the moderator will not be accepted as members. After your membership has been approved, please introduce yourself in a post to the community.

I realize this will not keep the most persistent trolls out, but it should at least filter their access a little bit.

To the people that have already joined: please post an introduction, so we can know for sure that you intend to contribute to this community in a manner that is explained in the community guidelines. Thank you.
31st-Aug-2006 11:46 pm - I can't stress this enough
brain
To everyone dropping in via other communities, I need to ask you to please read the community guidelines before joining. Make sure that you are in the right place. Thank you very much.
brain
There's been a small addition to the community guidelines. I wanted to remind everyone that, when posting to the community, you have the option of either making your post friends only (as some of you have already done), or public. A friends-locked post will only allow members to read it, a public entry can be read by anyone who decides to drop by. It's up to you: obviously some posts will be more sensitive than others, and not all entries will need to be protected. Keep in mind, though, that some people may feel uncomfortable commenting on a public entry, as discussions can become quite private.

To all our new members, welcome! We're glad to have you here, and are looking forward to reading your introductions. :)
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